Published in the March 1997 issue of Dengeki G’s Paradise. Prologue story detailing the events leading up to Money Idol Exchanger, written by the game’s planner and writer. He would later write the game’s novel adaptation as well.
Written by Kengo Asai
Illustrated by Atsuko Ishida
~ 1 ~
“In a world without money, humanity can live as though we were truly human.”
… or something like that. I think the guy who said that was like… some German poet, maybe?
I guess it would depend on what your idea of “being human” is, but if you ask me, this guy’s got it all wrong. Without money, we’d still be solving problems with our fists like cavemen. And our historic monuments sure didn’t get built with volunteer labor.
There’s one thing that people value most after life itself. You could even say it’s what we dream of…
And that’s being completely loaded. Money’s like…
Huh? Me?
Whoops, sorry about that.
Look at me, prattling on to myself.
I’m Sakura Mitsukoshi — that’s “mee-tsoo-koh-shee“.
I’m a fine young lady, 17 years old, five feet and one inch tall. I go to Kisaragi Private School, right inside the city.
My weight and measurements are strictly confidential.
My hobby is… hmm… probably saving money. Is that weird?
Sometimes I even go to the bank and check my balance just for fun.
Getting to watch your savings go up and up, little by little… Doesn’t that just get your blood pumping?
It doesn’t? Oh, huh…
But still! Other than the fact that I’m in a teeny bit more debt than most people, and that I may not be paying just a teeny bit of that debt, I’m just a completely average high schooler.
Oh? What’s that? You wanna know how much I have saved up? Heehee, I bet you do…
Alrighty, let’s see here… As of today, that’s fifteen million, six hundred twenty thousand, four hundred and… fifty two yen.
Not bad, eh?
It all goes right into Sakura Bank.
Daddy is the bank’s president, after all. So where the heck else would I put my money? Right now it’s just a teeny-tiny local bank, but Daddy’s working real hard to get another location open in the city.
As his daughter, I want to save up what I can to help him out. Even if it’s just a little!
And so I face every day full of pep, avoiding my many debts. Until one day, our school nurse, Ms. Fujiko, called me over the PA. From then on, everything changed…
Ugh, my whole life might as well have gone into bankruptcy!
~ 2 ~
“Ms. Fujiko? It’s Sakura… you wanted me for something?”
I hesitantly peered through the door into the school infirmary. What was it that I was so afraid of, you ask?
Whew, lemme tell you.
At first glance, our school nurse Ms. Fujiko looks more like a supermodel than the kind of person who takes temperatures. But if you look more closely… there’s something kinda suspicious about her.
Yeah, if I had to sum it up, I’d call her a “mad scientist type”.
This one time, I went to the infirmary to get cold medicine, and she gave me some kind of… “cerebrovascular neuron activator”. It cured my cold alright, but I couldn’t sleep for a whole week afterwards! So at this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if laser beams started flying out the door as soon as I pulled it open.
Oh, by the way, as of now I’ve “borrowed” 123,000 yen from her.
“Ah, Ms. Mitsukoshi. Sorry for calling you in here so suddenly.”
I was met with her kind smile. Nothing seemed too out of the ordinary.
As far as I could tell, the two of us were the only ones in the infirmary. The only other face nearby was that of an anatomical dummy, looking awfully chilly with half of his skin gone.
The scent of antiseptic enveloped the room, as I felt it seep its way into my hair. I couldn’t help but tense up further in this atmosphere, which isn’t exactly surprising for a person who had “no sense of composure” written on their report card. My eyes continued to dart around the room, doing a pretty bad job of hiding my fear.
But Ms. Fujiko didn’t seem to notice my behavior at all.
She flipped several pages of the folder she was holding, and turned to face me.
“I have something I need to tell you regarding the physical examination you took the other day…”
Huh? What the heck? Is it cancer? I didn’t think I had appendicitis… Oh man, please let it at least be one of the cheap diseases…
The wave of panicked thoughts that came over me in that moment must have made its way to my face, as Ms. Fujiko reached out her hands to try to calm me down.
“No, no. It’s not like that at all. You’re perfectly healthy. However, we’ve observed an extremely unusual phenomenon from within your body.”
“An… unusual phenomenon?”
“That’s right. It won’t do either of us any good to dance around it, so allow me to tell you exactly what’s going on!
We’ve detected the presence of the endogenous opiod “bundorphin”!”
“???”
What the heck is she even talking about?
I do have to admit… anything with a fancy science-y name like that seems like it could be worth a pretty penny.
“So… what exactly is this bundorphin thing?”
“Don’t worry, there’s no reason you should know about it. Bundorphins are a once-in-a-century find — an extremely rare biological tuner.”
Her smile drew me further and further in, captivating me in a way only someone of her beauty could.
“Of course, this is the first time I’ve come into contact with it myself. I’m pretty intrigued.”
Ms. Fujiko sidled up to me as she said this, and I reflexively slouched over.
That look she’s giving me… what am I, a student, or a guinea pig?
“You see, Ms. Mitsukoshi, these bundorphins are advanced organisms hiding unknown potential, with no official record among any international medical board. Entry route to the autonomic nerves, brain stem mechanisms, contrast with morphine receptors, status as a peptide, and so on… So many mysteries, and so few answers.”
She turned through page after page of a massive reference book as she bit the fingers of her other hand.
“However. There is just one particular characteristic that we do know.”
Ms. Fujiko slammed the reference book shut, and faced me with a wide grin on her face. At this point, her sweet smile seemed more like a menacing sneer.
“The people who secrete bundorphins… They are so completely dominated by an otherworldly greed, they wouldn’t hesitate to sell off their own parents!
Well, Ms. Mitsukoshi? Wouldn’t that sound like someone we know!?”
By now, Ms. Fujiko wasn’t even trying to hide her excitement. Kinda creepy…
I gotta find a way to take some heat off of me…
“Yeesh, Ms. Fujiko! Making other people out to be some kind of Uncle Scrooge…”
“Ms. Mitsukoshi! This is no laughing matter!”
Jeez, she just keeps getting scarier and scarier…
Ms. Fujiko took a contemptuous look at me as I nervously wrapped myself in my own arms. She let out a deep sigh, and began to ponder — posing as though she were imitating The Thinker. She gulped down some tea from a cup inscribed with names of fish I’d never heard of. I guess she must’ve bought it from a sushi shop.
But her gaze remained fixed on me throughout.
Whyyyyy… I feel like a frog on the dissection table…
“Well, that’s fine. What’s a theory without evidence?”
As she muttered this to herself, she rummaged around the room and returned holding a funny-looking machine.
“Ms. Mitsukoshi, would you put this measuring device on for me?”
I knew it! Here come the freaky experiments!
“Huh!? This isn’t one of those things that shocks you, is it?”
“Relax, there’s nothing to worry about.”
She smiled as she said this, but her expression was still undeniably that of a mad scientist.
No way I’m putting that thing on. But, if I refuse… what if she demands her money back…
Reluctantly, I took the weird device – a bundle of coils and cords wrapped in aluminum foil – and put it on.
Kinda reminds me of the spring-loaded training outfit from that old sports anime.
On top of that, there was a silver helmet, with antenna sticking out of it like spikes on a sea urchin.
Oh man, I dunno about all this…
“Is this alright, Ms. Fujiko?”
“Perfect. It looks good on you.”
Who are you kidding!?
Ms. Fujiko giggled to herself. “Alright, let’s begin!”
Pleaaaase, you could at least do it without rolling up your sleeves and licking your lips…
I felt my rising heartbeat pulse throughout my entire body. In that moment, Ms. Fujiko was judge, jury and executioner, and I was the pitiable defendant. But her ruling wasn’t quite what I had expected.
She groped around the pocket of her lab coat, and pulled out a 500 yen coin.
Huh? What’s that for?
“Ms. Mitsukoshi, I’m giving you this 500 yen coin.”
Huh!? No way! Cha-ching!
“There it is! Just as I expected! For an instant, the electric current in your body increased by a factor of ten! Range of muscular contraction by a factor of twenty! And your sensory neurons have multiplied by an unbelievable one thousand! So this is the power of bundorphins! Absolutely incredible!”
Can’t say I’m sure what exactly it is that’s so incredible here. But then, her expression fell, and she gave me a sideways glance. Ms. Fujiko once again reached into her pocket and pulled out a… t-t-ten thousand yen bill!
N-no way… gulp…
“That’s right, Ms. Mitsukoshi. This ten thousand yen bill is yours.”
“Aaaaaahh!! Aaaaaahh!! Oh my gaawwwd!! Thank yewwww!!!”
I was so happy, I had slipped into a folk singer voice without even realizing!
But in the very next moment, the unbelievable happened —
Exchaaaaaaaange!!!
“The hope of today’s payslip!
The dream of tomorrow’s balance inquiry!
Even the most foul villain’s cash is still good!
Money Idol Exchanger!
My time… has come!”
Huh!? W-what the heck am I doing? And what’s with these clothes?
For a split-second, my head became light and my memory went totally blank! The strange gadgets I was wearing had also fallen off. And on top of that… why am I in this weird pose?
Oh man, I’m completely freaking out! What kind of weirdo manages to whip out a phony speech like that in a situation like this?
“M-Ms. Fujiko, I…”
She chuckled. “That’s right, Ms. Mitsukoshi.
This is the ultimate effect of bundorphins — when you reach peak stimulation, it concentrates bodily secretion at the epidermis, synthesizes, reconstructs, and neutralizes. Thus, allowing you to transform into your current form.”
S-she said “transform” like it’s no big deal… There’s no special training or reconstructive surgery or anything?
Mr. Hongo would not want to hear that…
“B-but Ms. Fujiko. Why the whole… idol look?”
As soon as I asked that, I could swear I saw a shimmer from behind her glasses.
“Well, Ms. Mitsukoshi. You want to be an idol, don’t you?”
“Urk! How the heck do you…”
She giggled once more. “You also have a soft spot for tokusatsu superhero shows, no?”
“Double urk! Why do you even know all this!?”
“Your clothes. And your speech when you transformed. Because bundorphins are indicators of intracerebral transmissions, they reflect your greatest desires, eventually giving them form.
Don’t deceive yourself! This is the “you” that you most want to be!”
Urrgh, she’s not exactly wrong…
“As someone who can secrete bundorphins, you have been chosen! And now, you must fight! You don’t exactly have any enemies yet, but still! You must fight! And purge this world of all evil!”
She thrust herself forward, completely ignoring the dumbfounded state I was in.
“That’s right, Money Idol Exchanger! Act now, in the name of justice!!”
M-Ms. Fujiko, you’re bugging out on me…
~ 3 ~
By the time Ms. Fujiko’s call-to-arms had ended, it was already pitch-black out. Yeesh, “Exchanger” my butt! Whole thing’s been nothing but a pain in the neck!
I took out my frustration with my footsteps, thudding my way out of the building (in a manner of speaking, I’m obviously not heavy enough to actually make a thud) and across the schoolyard.
The lines painted onto the school’s track had disappeared into the night, but as if I cared!
Although… our school’s track is 400 meters… Making it all the way to the middle when I can’t see a thing around me… is a little scary…
At some point, my stride went from thudding to plodding.
“S-Sakura?”
Wha! That spooked me!
That was Asahi’s voice.
By now I’ve “borrowed” 1,234,000 yen from her, but she’s still my very best friend.
I turned to face the source of the voice, and sure enough, Asahi was standing there, giving me the same nervous look as always.
“Asahi, what are you doing out this late?”
“I-I dropped my wallet somewhere in the schoolyard, b-but I can’t find it because it’s so dark…”
“Well, I’ll help you find it! So, how much was in there?”
“I think it was around 20,000 yen…”
Exchaaaaaaaange!!!
“Wha! Wha! S-Sakura! What’s going on? What are those clothes?”
“Heehee, I didn’t exactly want you to know about this… But now that we’re here, let’s say that my cut if I find the wallet is… ten percent? Ten percent!”
“S-sure…”
“Alrighty then! Money Search, Scaaaaaan!!”
And that’s how I was reborn as the heroine of justice, Exchanger.
I may not know who exactly my enemy is yet, but I do know what I must use my power for!
I’m gonna do my best to overcome this recession, so make sure to root for me, okay?
To find out what happens next… I’ll meet you in the game ♥
END
※ This is a work of fiction and any relation to real groups or individuals is fully coincidental.